Taking a week-long break to do gay shit in the woods! Love you!
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Saw a twig. Effervescent.
I firmly believe your absence caused this mess
What’s happening? I was too busy becoming one with nature. I built a fire. I stood beside a deer. I ate a big leaf in one bite to prove a point and it tasted yucky, but them’s the breaks sometimes when it comes to the out of doors. Sometimes you eat a leaf and it’s bad, you know? Who are we to judge.
fool me once: umm okey..
fool me twice: wtf o_O
fool me three times i piss so hard it rips
w..what rips
😎
The Signs in the Morning:
Aries: Gets out of bed with incredible force. The wave of compressed air is enough to shatter windows. They have a high window bill.
Taurus: Has ascended past the need for pajamas.
Gemini: Makes breakfast and in turn, breakfast makes them back.
Cancer: Woke up late and is now rushing in a half-conscious stupor to get ready for the day. The line between the waking world and dreams is really a suggestion at this point.
Leo: Woke up naked in the back yard again. Their bed is covered in leaves.
Virgo: Never slept. Was trying to sneak up on sleep.
Libra: Got a glimpse of the seven legged thing that stood over their bed but has more important things to do.
Scorpio: Slept under the bed last night, just to switch it up you know?
Ophiuchus: Spent the entire day making breakfast so they can just go to sleep and do it again.
Sagittarius: Angry at the sun for waking them up and looking for their hunting rifle.
Capricorn: “Dear Diary, the tiny coma happened again”
Aquarius: Has made their morning more efficient by combining the bathwater and the coffee.
Pisces: Woke up too big today.
the funniest #otherworldly trait concept i can imagine is
you when like. magical and nonhuman characters are described in a book and the protag like. hears the rustling of grass or smells woodsmoke inexplicably whenever they see them.
i’m just thinking about like. Wrong Versions of that.
every time someone sees me they inexplicably smell a shoe store which is like, not bad, I guess… they hear the distant and quiet but distinct sound of a lawn mower……
fact: the bayonet is just a strapon for a gun
real talk, everytime I see this I think it says ‘bayonetta’s strapon is just a gun’ and I’m like fuck dude it sure is
Assert dominance over ghosts by jumping out at yourself from dark corners
assert dominance over ghosts safely, sanely, and consensually in the bedroom
well holy crap if you didn’t just upgrade my post to god tier
But what if you like ghosts safely, sanely, and consensually asserting dominance over you?
Then you’re probably a bottom.
Pros of dating me:
- You get to date me
Cons of dating me:
- Whichever cons are closest to us I guess maybe we could even cosplay together
kvothbloodless
